23 October 2006

1177) In Europe, Turkey bashing season has arrived !

An Arabesk Look to the EU-Turkey Relations

In Europe, Turkey bashing season has arrived. In Turkey, Europe bashing was ongoing for a month by now. The EU’s failure to hold its promises regarding Cyprus has dissappointed most of us. Myself, secretly cried in my bed for days, I am sure the other Turks have done the same. Oh God, Why, Why us? . .

Time to time people criticize me for listening Arabesk song, which is a very popular music form influenced by Arabic music. Generally the theme is pain, love, poverty, separation and other soft torture mechanisms. There are fathers, emperors, littles and sons... I will rather discuss these in a separate article.

One of the most popular Arabesk songs is Ibrahim Tatlises (Or Ibo in short)’s Be Happy, That’s Enough (Mutlu ol yeter). While in the West people were happy and singing “Don’t worry Be Happy”, we, Turks were depressed, trying to grow up “Emrah the Little” (another arabesk singer who was a child by then) and singing this great song “Be Happy, That’s Enough[for me]” which means “You are very happy, I am very sorry, but because you are very happy, I am fine. Now I will kill myself”

While crying silently in my bed, I began to sing that song “Be Happy, That’s Enough”. Yes, EU is happy without Turkey. And we Turks should be happy to see EU being happy without Turkey. I finally understood that, Turkey does not deserve a bit to be in this union.

Reasons? There are many. Turkey is never close to Africa like Cyprus. Cyprus is located in the very south, in the east, just suited for EU geography. Or Turkey never elected leaders like Papadopoulos who has openly declared to ethnicly cleanse Turks (according to Americans, Papadopoulos claimed to cleanse all the Turks in the island, until Turkish ships arrive to Cyprus). Nor, our leaders cry at the TV because of democratic elections.

We do not have churches (mosques) to spread Turkish (Greek) hatred on our land like Cyprus. We failed to give passports to terrorists and failed to harbour them.

We failed to bring up such valuable leaders like Nicolas Sarkozy, who generally starts the Turkey bashing season before anyone. So he is a forerunner, a visionary, a Turkey enthusiast!

We also failed to bring up religious leaders like Benedict, to speak like a Turkish football commentator. I will continue my self-criticism but I want to open paranthesis here to complain about a personal matter.

Generally what is required to be a Turkish football commentator is a well kept secret like Cola Turka’s formula. A doctor, a tour guide, a history graduate and women in nice shape can be football commentators and they are. Yesterday night , there was this discussion which is an indication of the exaggeration regarding football in Turkey. According to this Mr. Commentator Einstein, in the Turkish Republic the leader hierarchy is as follows “President, Prime Minister and the President of Fenerbahce Football Club and soon”.

After hearing this, I seriously think that football commentators are our only success in terms of matching EU’s Turkey bashing team. Turkey may sent these commentators as Turkey-EU negotiating team to Brussels. It will be quite beneficial. First one is Brussel will get what it deserves and secondly I will be normal again and listen more Ibo and Emrah the Little songs. I can hear the discussions : “If the President of Republic of Fenerbahce(as they call Fenerbahce Football Club) does not become the president of EU, we will leave”. “We should transfer Hugo Chavez to our forward to be a world leader this year”

Anyway back to subject, sorry for disturbing you with my personal matters.

We failed to make wars in every single century. We failed to stirr up world wars and sell guns to poor African countries. Never bribed their leaders to dumb our nuclear wastes.

And there are many others... Failure, failure and failure... There is not even a single success for Turkey to reveal himself as a real European country. Not even Banana Republic of Fenerbahce has a single success.

Even if Fenerbahce has made the required reforms and swallowed the EU’s double standarts, they will not join the EU. Probably, Fenerbahce is more willing to join latin american union. With an ego to believe in every fantasy and a gang of Brazilian players, they are well suited to “backyard of America”.

So, as the song (Be Happy, that’s Enough) goes: “You do not know that I have written this[song] for you, You listen this like an alien song. For me, first God, then you. I have one wish: Be Happy, that’s enough ”. Be Happy EU, that’s enough for the Turks...

Have a nice EU-Turkey bashing season!

Baris Sanli
Copyright © 2005 Journal of Turkish Weekly


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